To Prank the Best
by CapitalCheerios
Summary: Lucy learns not to mess with her boyfriend. Birthday/Valentine's present to my sis, Jay! One-shot.


**A not-so-fluffy-but-kind-of one-shot dedicated to my lovely sis, Jay! Happy WAY Belated Birthday! And Happy Valentine's Day!**

**I only own the writing; Fairy Tail, its characters, and this story's plot belong to their rightful owners (Jaystarglider and Hiro Mashima).**

**Please check out Jay's story! The Dragon's Beauty.**

* * *

The glint in her eyes shined in the mirror as her cackles overpowered the loud snores of her victim. She howled with laughter and shook the bottle in her hand, staring down at his head of pink.

She remembered all the times he played pranks on her- the time he connected a trip cord with a bucket of water, and the time he threw four eggs at her when she was on her way to an interview- even when he put super glue on her water bottle, and she had it stuck to her had for eight hours.

But now she was going to be the pranker! Oh, yes, she was SO ready to get him back.

She smiled evilly and mumbled on deaf ears, "Payback's a bitch, Natsu."

* * *

Shaking hands ran though freshly dyed hair as a shout ran all through the house, "WHAT THE FUCK?!"

Meanwhile, in the kitchen, his girlfriend held in her snorts and giggles, banging her fist so hard on the counter that the water in her glass trembled. She bit her lips, her quivering hands moving to grasp her stomach as she slid to the floor.

But when she heard his stomps, she pulled herself up and tried to even her breath, barely letting the laughter not escape. She fanned her face some, quickly looking around and jamming her face into the cabinet, pretending to look for a cup.

"WHICH MOTHERFUCKER DID THIS?!" Lucy grabbed a cup with a smiley face on it and took a deep breath, in fear she would laugh the moment she saw him.

Turning around, no amount of depressing things could make her not fall back into her hysterical frenzy.

"Oh! Aha! What! You- you... ugh!" she slapped a hand over her mouth at his face turned an unflattering shade of red, making him look all the more laughable.

"Who. Did. This."

Even though most people would be terrified of a face so enraged, his colorful hair was impossible to _not _laugh at.

Green, purple, red, magenta, white, black, yellow, and blue strips made him look suitable for a circus.

"Did Grey do this?!" Lucy had finally calm herself enough to keep her eyes open instead of pinching them closed. She gave him the most serious look she could manage and replied the most intelligent thing she could think of-

"Nope."

"Wait- you know who did?" he may have been asking (screaming at) her, but he didn't actually expect her to _know. _He only threw his tantrum to emphasize that WHOEVER did this was going to grovel at his feet for mercy.

"Well, no, but I know it wasn't Grey. Juvia just called and bragged about her date with him. Droned on and on that he took her to the new Mermaid Heel Aqaurium," she lied through her pretty teeth like a pro, staring down at her socks.

Okay, she had to admit, she was a _little_ intimidated. But he would NEVER lay a hand with malice intentions on his girlfriend, would he? His beautiful, wonderful, kind, caring, sweet, hot, foxy, smart, loyal-

"LUCY!" Natsu startled her so much she almost dropped the jug of milk.

"Geez, what? What is it?" Lucy unscrewed the cap and poured the beverage to the smiley face's eyes.

"_I said,_" he quipped, his eyebrows furrowed and his mouth's corners turned way down, "Do you-" he stopped.

When she notices how his eyes zero in on her hands, she looks down and inspects. _No, nothing out of the bl- _

Her cream face pales. Under three of her nails, yellow, purple, and blue splotches of dye remain.

_Oh._

_Shit._

"Okay, I SWEAR I have an explanation for this," she bites her lip, for the first time not knowing what to say.

His face is so calm it frightens her.

He's never calm.

Like, EVER.

"I'm waiting," he growls.

"I...I was... I was, uh.. Playing with markers?" she feels her pores open as droplets of sweat race down to the waistline of her pajama pants.

"LUCY!" he dives across the counter, his calm demeanor evaporating faster than light. He knocks her cup off the counter, and it shatters, milk spreading in a pool of white.

But he doesn't even notice, only focusing of catching the girl who had bounded away with a leap the second he moved.

She squeals as she runs, looking for somewhere -anywhere- she can hide. Of course, it is pretty hard to find a place to hide in the small apartment.

Her eyes flicker towards their bedroom. _Gotta get inside!_

She runs inside, closes the door, and locks it as fast as possible. Frantically searching for somewhere to hide while he bangs on the door, shouting profanities louder than her pounding heart.

She knew it wouldn't be long before he picks the lock (as he had proven he could do quite well from all the times he sneaked into her house before they had become a couple).

Deciding to hide in the closet, she quickly tip-toes over and hides between a long trench coat and robe.

She brought a hand to her heart, trying to get her breathing in check._ Seriously, Lucy? He's not gonna KILL you! Eventually, this will all blow over. Why are you even hiding? _

Despite her inner conversation with herself, she still stayed, hiding between the soft fabric rubbing against her cheek and the coat scratching the back of her thighs.

A few minutes later, after she stopped panting like a dog, the door knob jiggled and the door was thrown open. She held her breath, squeezing her eyes shut and praying he wouldn't find her.

He checked the bathroom, growling and muttering threats.

Then he checked under the bed, and then she had a brilliant idea to sneak away while he had his eyes distracted.

Her heart thudding with angst, she quickly -quietly- started to tip-toe around him. She stared at him the entire time, completely missing the fact that her foot was about to slam into-

"YE-OUCH!" she shrieked, jerking her foot up and placing her hands on her throbbing pinkie toe.

Natsu, just realizing that she was next to him, jumped up and tackled her onto the bed.

"I'lldoanything,pleasedon'tkillme!" she blurted it out so fast he had trouble deciphering it.

After a few seconds of silence, he turns his head to the side, his anger subsiding.

"Anything?" he asks skeptically.

"Anything."

He smirks, "ANYthing~?"

She hesitates, the pain in her toe quickly thrumming, almost as if telling her to say no, "Uh... Any... anything?"

His smirk grows from ear to ear, and she suddenly regrets what she just agreed upon.

* * *

"Mmmm," he moans as she squeezes the his calf, running lotion into his skin and feeling his muscles tense and relax when she hits certain spot a few inches away from his knee.

She sighed, a strong glare on her face as her hands travel a bit higher.

"Ah, right there," he hums pleasantly, stealing one of the cucumbers he ordered her to prepare for his eyes and swallows it one bite, "Anyway, I think you should continue being my slave," she rolls her eyes, "until my hair returns to normal," they bug and she shrieks-

"WHAT?"

"And you better be prepared, because the things I have in mind are just like this," he eats the other cucumber, "except a little more... strenuous."

Her glare was so scary, it could have probably frightened even Erza.

She sighs and rolls her eyes, narrowing them once again at his closed ones. She stops at the very top of his thighs and mutters bitterly,, "There, all done." _I'll_ _just ge__t out of it later._

He clicks his tongue, "Woah, I am the one who tells you when to stop," he grabs her forearm and drags her ear down to his mouth, "And I want you to go just a little," he all but purrs, "_higher._"

Her face bursts into red at his implication, and he leans back into his pillows, an awfully attractive smirk on his face, "Next time, leave the pranking to me, Luce."

Her mind is traveling at a million words a minute, thinking about what he said earlier.

_Has in mind... things just like this... little more strenuous..._

And that, folks, is how Lucy learned her lesson and didn't ever mess with her boyfriend again.

But, hey, that didn't stop him from messing with her.

And she had an entire list of _interesting th__ings _she would make him do.

_Very _interesting things...

* * *

**Poor Lu-chan... Well, maybe not that poor...**

**Lol! Anyway, Happy Valentine's Day, Jay! And Happy WAYYY Belated Birthday! ****Love you!**

**And I hope you all enjoyed this one-shot! I hope you all understood the implications he was making...**

**But this is rated T, so no details for you guys!**

**With love,**

**C&C**


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